No spitting, shaking-hands, kissing...

Kissing, shaking-hands, spitting - is there no end to the list of things-not-to-do to avoid swine flu! The spitting rule has been issued because Premiership footballers are, surprisingly, not immune to swine flu. Spitting is a rather disgusting habit - as is the footballers' habit of blowing out the contents of their noses - and is made even worse now we have high definition TV. But spitting is rather low risk for spreading swine flu. Shaking hands is rather more dangerous and last month Sweden disuaded football players from indulging in this practice. Pity the poor referee who has to shake hands with everyone at the end of the game. And then there's the goal celebrations where players jump on each other, hugging and kissing. Fortunately, this is such a rare occurrence at the moment at Carlisle United that the chances of swine flu spreading at Brunton Park are as remote as anything going wrong with the swine flu vaccine. And what of large crowds of fans all packed in together in a stadium? Surely, that's not good either. But at least Chelsea manager Carlo Ancelotti, has shared his family's traditional remedy for flu. ''It is my grandmother's prescription,'' he said. ''It's hot milk with red wine. Fantastic.''